Wiping your slate clean

I find that I do some of my best thinking in the shower.  When I was in college I awarded equal weight to the benefits of napping and showering.  On occasion, I spent precious minutes attempting to decide which escape to take.  Both offered needed down time and accomplished rest or cleanliness.  I usually felt quite refreshed and ready for the next campus adventure after either.

These days, when I am lucky enough to take a truly off duty shower (you fellow stay at home parents know what I mean), I find that the steam, white noise of the water, and citrus scent of my body wash open my brain right up.  I plan meals, design toddler friendly activities, organize schedules, write shopping lists.  I even get somewhat motivated to do laundry.  I get more done in the shower than I actually ever get done.

The other day, however, all I could contemplate was our toilet paper.  See, I am married to no particular brand (I think the current rolls are from TJ's) and I rarely even pay attention.  For some reason, this day, I noticed the sheets were imprinted with flower blossoms and butterflies.  I don't think our toilet paper has ever been imprinted.  Why is it imprinted with blossoms and butterflies?  Do such imprints increase the popularity of the product?  Do people prefer soft and silky images on their tushy tissue?  Does it enhance experience?  Functionality?

If so, how did the toilet paper people determine this information?  Did they host a focus group?  What other imprint options were offered?  Did the pine cones prevent?  Did the fox faces fail?  Would I care what appeared on my paper?  Is there some object or animal that would keep me from ripping off a bit?  Or maybe the imprints are underrated.  Perhaps rolls of skull and cross bones would kill in the stores and fly off the shelves.  Hmm...

And then, as if someone flushed those blossoms and butterflies, I was shocked back to reality as I was showering.  Pregnancy brain was only the beginning.  My mind continues to atrophy.  For years now I have been delusional about the power of the shower.  It no longer acts as a protective booth in which I transform back into super student.  It has become a time where I stand still enough to start to slip slightly into insanity, the type that is brought on by constant contact with tiny tots.

Should I attempt to break free from this downward spiral (I certainly can't cease showering)?  Perhaps I should start thinking about going back to school.  Maybe I should force myself to read and write even more.  I love staying home with my kids, but is it having irreversible effects on my being?  Of course it is!  For the rest of my life my mind will function at half capacity because the other part will be focused on the family.  And, after thinking about this in the shower this morning I am satisfied.  Thinking about toilet paper is harmless fun.  Kids make you better.  Kids make you weird.