Often, a women's retreat is laden with tears and wrought with cleansing, yet exhausting, emotion. This year, I headed off to Gettysburg feeling secure in my lot in the Lord. And while the weekend was certainly powerful, I spent most of the time smiling. Watching our women worship, sensing them experiencing the Spirit, and wrapping my arms around them in prayer, brought me great joy. I felt God meet me in a place of lightheartedness, a place where He challenged me to see Him and myself as more complicated and beautiful than I had previously pictured. And while I was smiling, this new uncertainty brought a tinge of fear. But, praise God, He wiped that away without changing the expression on my face.
I think I am afraid. Even if God showed up at my door, not as a burning bush, but as a friendly neighbor with wine and cheese and a great big hug (I love wine and cheese and a good squeeze), would I let Him in? I hope so.