Fridays at First Day: Is God Near?

I leave this afternoon for a weekend women's retreat.  The title of the retreat, "God is Near," got me thinking about my experiences understanding the presence of God in my life.  I decided to write a post right before attending the retreat and a follow up post next week after I return.  It is my prayer that you all feel God's love in a special way today.

Is God Near?

My dad used to sit on the edge of my bed as I said my prayers at night. I would picture God hovering high over the Earth, reigning from the dark expanse of zero gravity, the sun illuminating His being above us. I have never pictured God as a white bearded old man sitting on a throne of clouds. I have always pictured Him with the face of Jesus whose picture hung in my grandmother’s terrace kitchen.  

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My Word

In my judgy, stereotyping mind, where I simplify observing this crazy world by labeling and compartmentalizing, there are two main types of doctrinally conservative Christian women.  1. The homeschooling, babies at her skirt, long braid down her back, sacrificing, no makeup wearing woman who puts everyone else before herself and 2. The well-employed or married to the well-employed, cares what she wears, kids in super schools, philanthropic woman who won't get her hands too dirty or spend too much of her very hard earned money on someone else.  Both of these women attend church regularly and have a profound and genuine relationship with the Lord.  If I had to pick, I suppose I am the first?  Or wait, am I the second?  Or, no, I am totally better and above either.  So there.  I am different.  I am special.  I break the mold.

Nope.  Truth be-told, I am a gross combination of both.

And, this year I am not even going to try to do anything about that.  Like many of you, I have picked a word for 2014.  And while it took a few moments of convincing myself to share my word with you, I have decided I should. And I am not going to apologize for it.  I know full well that my word may seem like it is not in the spirit of the whole change-your-life-with-one-word thing, but my word actually gives me permission not to care what you think.

We have a joke in our church that there are two name tags to pick from: God and Not God.   I know I am not God, but I chose my word nonetheless.  Similarly, I know that, contrary to mainstream media and culture, I don't deserve to be happy or successful or famous or gorgeous or anything else so superficially ridiculous.  But, I also know that before I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, volunteer, writer, loser, I am a child of God, in whose eyes I am perfect and in whose plan I have a purpose.

So.  I have taken a huge step out of the box in choosing my first ever word of the year.  Which for 2014 is:

Please note: I did not read this book nor am I intending to mock anyone who is honestly working to improve their spiritual lives using the one word approach.  Additionally, I believe, in some ways, God has given me this word and while it implies I am going to try to live life MYSELF I will always do my best to turn first to the Lord and lean on Him alone. 

What's your word this year?  What do you think of mine?

Fridays at First Day: What I Can Give and God is Not in a Box

Over the holidays, I continued to write for The First Day, a new online and print spiritual magazine exploring arts, culture, faith and practice.  Committing to submit a piece for them every Friday has challenged me as a thinker and a writer.  I feel that I have already grown in both areas thanks to this opportunity.  I hope you have received something from them as well.  

Here are my two latest articles for The First Day:

What I Can Give

We all give a lot: our time, our talent, our emotions, our money. How was Christmas—this season, this year— changed by what and how I gave? How was I changed? Could I have given more? And, at times, should I have given less?  Read more...

God Is Not in a Box

I let whatever I was just thinking, feeling, doing, fall to the page with a few more tears. It’s messy and maybe silly, but I am a bit angry and certainly sad so I just keep writing. And then I stop. I feel better, but I know that this time, I am not finished.  Read more...

Fridays at First Day: The Truth About Santa

I am thrilled to announce that I will be writing weekly for The First Day, an online magazine and quarterly print publication focusing on art, culture, faith and practice.  The content and collaboration excites me and I will be sure to share my "Fridays at First Day" each week here on my blog.

This week's post might stir up a bit of controversy, but more than that I just hope it gives you a glimpse into my life and how I am attempting to live it to the fullest.  Please follow the title link below to the rest of the article on The First Day and do not hesitate to comment over there, no matter how you feel.  Comments are always appreciated.

The Truth About Santa 

We still share Christmas stories and songs about Santa, but we don’t bring his character to life in the ways many parents choose to do. We don’t encourage our kids to write him letters or rile them up when he makes an appearance. We don’t build up the idea of receiving a huge pile of presents on Christmas morning. And, we never employ him as a behavioral tool, threatening that his affection would be based on “how naughty” or “how nice” the kids are during the year.  Read more.

Check back next week for another Friday at First Day, starring The Grinch!

Monday Morning Gratitude

I just got home from my morning walk with our new dog, Tucker.  I haven't written about him, yet.  Or about our buddy boy Ben, our pup of 8 years, who we lost just two months ago.  I think I am still comprehending just how much a dog means to it's family.

Tucker is a wonderful dog and, like Ben, a gift.  He gets me up before the girls and it's been a healthy time for me.  Often, as soon as we venture  outside, I feel an ease in my step.

This morning, the warm breezes tickled the many fallen leaves and roused them to dance alongside our legs and feet.  As Tucker first started to sniff about, I took in the sky, already pale blue and beautiful, dotted with freshly baked baguette shaped clouds.

And then, with the winds, they soon separated to reveal a sudden shock of light.  The moon, still wide awake and bursting with a glory I have never seen, seemed to appear just for me.  A tiny gasp escaped my lips, Tucker's ears flapping the grass under me.  I was struck still in awe.

"Thank you, God," I said.

Tucker and I continued on, along our normal route.  And despite discovering well into the walk that the poop bag had a hole, I was full of joy.  I was so content in the simplicity of the moment and the quietness of the morning.  I pondered how I could bottle my mood to swallow again later, whenever I would need a good grounding dose of my blessed reality.

There had to be a way to harness this 1.21 gigawatts of joy.

I am confident it is always there for the taking, but I overlook it so easily.  I get caught up in complications and let the dust they kick up settle over everything.  I walk on, but head down and in a fog.  Little shocks me awake like this morning's moon.  

As Tucker and I rounded the corner for home, the moon was no longer visible, but my answer suddenly was.  I had come full circle and found myself standing where I started.  And what had I done?  What had put this day on the right path?

I said, "Thank you, God."


 

Running the Run for Relief

In high school, volleyball practice always began with 25 laps around the court.  Slapping the shellacked wood floor like lemmings, we ran in constant circles.  While I played volleyball with true dedication for four years, I routinely fudged my run count.  Yeah, I did most of it, but I never ran it all.

In college, I enjoyed working out in the campus gym.  I continued my strength training from my team sports days and often utilized the stationary bikes.  I never ran.  I never even used the elliptical machines.  Running like a dinosaur is still running.  In fact, I think besides the occasional dash to class, I did not run for any length of time after the required mile during freshman year fitness and wellness class.

But, for some reason, I laced up my nine-year-old New Balance sneakers and took off around my neighborhood early on Labor Day.  And I really liked it.  (Don't fret, I have since purchased new shoes and may even require different ones.)

For weeks, I would wake before my alarm.  I would skip down my front steps in anticipation and don my headphones.  And then I would breathe in the luxury of my run.  I could hardly believe it myself.

But, the honeymoon ended.  Both of my ankles started to ache.  More and more mornings had to be sacrificed for early meetings and rest for my feet.  No huge loss.  I probably took things a bit fast in the beginning and am paying for that now.  I still enjoy running and will continue to do so.

The problem lies in the fact that, during my enthusiastic "early days" (six loooooong weeks ago) I agreed to run a 5K to raise money for a family near and dear to our church.  This 5K is eight even shorter days away. And I still have never run 2.5 miles let alone 3.1.

So.

After we return from our weekend in the woods where the hills are too treacherous for me, I will do my best to prepare.  After nearly 10 days off, I am eager to get back out there and pound the pavement.  I feel healthy.  I feel motivated.  People have paid for me to run this thing and that means a lot to me.  My hope is to raise even a little bit more.  My goal is to run the entire way.

Wait.  The Run for Relief has nothing to do with me, in the end.  True ministry should only be about the people you are serving, right?  Well, God has a groovy way of using ministry to serve everyone involved.   I have seen that firsthand on several missions trips and service projects.  Really, God will reach you.  Even if you do not have the true heart of a servant.  Even if you have selfish ambition.  I know physically, mentally and spiritually preparing for this run has changed me.  Even when I have made it about me.

But most importantly, I know the run will help the family we care about, even if in just a small way.

Thanks be to God (not me.)    

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfector of our faith."  Hebrews 12:1-2a

www.ournewhope.org/runforrelief